SEP. 10, 2012
Game of Thrones character Ned
Stark once said something interesting. He was being held captive by
the Lannisters in a dungeon below the Red Keep. One of his former
advisers came to him and pleaded with him to confess crimes of which
he was accused, but didn’t commit, so that he might be spared the
king’s justice — beheading. But Ned Stark is GoT‘s
embodiment of honor and stoicity, so the fallen king replied, “You
think my life is such a precious thing to me, that I would trade my
honor for a few more years… of what?”
This isn’t a post about Game of
Thrones. The character’s quote was interesting, though, because
thinking like that doesn’t happen in the Western world
(anymore?). You think my life is such a precious thing to
me. Distilled, it’s There exists things greater than me.
Theoretically, everyone’s supposed to
believe this. Our parents told us that the world doesn’t revolve
around us. If you act like a selfish asshole, people will agree that
your premises are incorrect. The idea behind your behavior is not
right. Your preference is not the only preference that exists. This
is what we say when we watch someone compelled by a certain amount of
self-interest.
But I think most people don’t really
believe it. Because it’s easier said than done. It’s easier to
say that you believe in world peace than it is to start a non-profit
dedicated to that. It’s easier to say that racism is wrong than it
is to become a political activist. It’s easier to say that you
believe in equality than it is to get a degree in gender studies.
It’s easier to say that something is extremely important than it is
to dedicate your life to it.
I don’t want to deny that you can
believe in something without dedicating your life to it. But, what’s
the value of a belief that’s mostly theoretical? What’s the
concrete value? What are the physical implications of a theoretical
belief? One implication that comes to mind is your choice of votes.
Another is your behavior as a consumer. Another, the positions you
take in conversation. But it seems to me that these
mostly-theoretical beliefs have their greatest function in
maintaining one’s identity. That is, you convince yourself that you
believe in something because it helps you believe you are your ideal
self, who by default you aren’t. It’s ironic that whether you do
something about that belief can tend to be less important. I think
most people are delusional this way. I am delusional this way.
There’s an episode of South
Park that’s about when Fox censored Family Guy from
depicting Muhammad because that would have violated Islamic law. I
can’t remember which character said it, but he articulated what I’m
trying to articulate. The character said something like “It’s
easy to believe in (/defend) free speech when nothing threatens it.
It’s much harder to believe in (/defend) free speech faced with the
threat of violence. But this is exactly when it should be defended
most. If you don’t defend free speech when it’s most immediately
threatened, then you don’t actually believe in it.”
When I generalize our generation, I
sort of fault it for not having convictions about anything. For
saying it believes in something and evidencing that belief by
pointing out the comments it made that day on a blog, (which is
bullshit). I feel like we’re really apathetic about our beliefs. I
struggle with apathy about my beliefs. But I know that convincing
myself I have them makes me feel like the person I want to be —
they seem to function as pillars of my identity, rather than driving
forces of my behavior. It’s a fucked up delusion that I’m certain
isn’t contributing to my well-being.
Is anyone relating to this? Does
anyone, when it comes down to the moment when you must act on a
belief, lack conviction and ultimately choose the comfort of
distance, of inaction? Does anyone find themselves repeatedly
excusing inaction on personal beliefs for some reason or another (BTW
I think all these reasons are basically the same). Is this a
generational thing? If so, when did identity become so important?
When and why did Ned Stark’s perspective — that there are things
worth more than his life — become so rare? To what degree — and
how — would you act on your strongest conviction? Would you die?
And where does doubt in your beliefs come into this — the belief
that truth is relative? How does that affect your actions? 
